You've Got Spike

by
Michelle

13. The Bestest!

"No-" Spike began and Anya popped the ball gag into his mouth. He bit down with his fangs extended. Anya smiled at him. "It's a type of not very flexible rubber, Spike. If you bite down hard enough you might be able to crush it. And then you'll get a mouth full of crumbly rubber." She leaned down to kiss his wide-stretched upper lip, pausing to lick it. "But, perhaps, you'd like that, maybe? It's not like you can choke to death on the stuff, right?" She looked at Xander, still caressing Spike's cock. "Xan?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's get naked."

Xander grinned. "I've said it before and I'll say it again: You're the bestest girlfriend ever."

Anya pulled off her robe and reached behind her back to unsnap her fuzzy bra while leaning forward to get a kiss from Xander. "You can never tell me that too often, Xander." She told him after a smacking kiss. She slipped out of the fuzzy panties.

Spike rattled his cuffs and glared.

"Oh! You're good too, Spike. Don't want you to feel left out." Xander cupped Spike's balls and ran his handSpikSpike's hard length before leaning down and kissing Spike's lower lip, pausing to lick it. He pulled back with a grin and took off his robe. He let the robe fall to the floor, leaned down and kissed Spike on the nose and then bent down to remove his boxers. He reached a hand out as if to grasp Spike's dick once again but smiled and caressed his own cock instead, tugging on it fondly. Spike bit down on the rubber ball in his mouth and growled, watching Xander's hand move over his hard dick. Anya giggled.

"You're so mean, Xander." She murmured fondly before leaning down and sucking Spike's cock into her mouth. Spike growled again, happily this time. Xander brushed back her hair, wanting to watch. Spike rattled his cuffs again, glaring at him. Xander grinned down at Spike.

"What? It's a nice show. Very pretty. I could watch it all night."

Spike shook his head violently and bit down on the ball, fangs showing, glaringly white against the red of the rubber ball.

Xander continued to fondle his cock as he continued to watch Anya deep-throat Spike. "Fine. Fine. You're overly greedy and demanding, though, for the chained one."

Spike nodded and did his best to purse his lips over the ball gag. He whimpered when Xander leaned down and licked his lips, stretched wide and aching. He thrust his cock up when Anya took his entire length into her mouth and down her throat. He gasped around the ball gag as Xander's lips left his and began to traverse his body; licking and sucking along the way, running from his lips to his chin, across it and down to his neck; he shuddered when Xander sucked at his Adam's apple, licked down and latched unto his collar bone. He pulled at his cuffs so hard he feared breaking free when Xander licked at his nipple and Anya at his tightly drawn sac. He did his best to hold himself still while Xander ran his agile tongue from his nipple to his stomach, from his stomach to Anya's mouth, back at Spike's cock now, and when the two met and kissed, the head of Spike's cock between them, he could do nothing but come.

The rubble ball came apart in his mouth as he bit down with his orgasm.

Xander and Anya didn't come up until they licked every drop of Spike from their lips.

Anya's eyes were as wide as her smile when she noted, with awe: "You broke it, Spike."

Spike spit red rubber everywhere. "Undo my cuffs, pet." He took in a deep breath, just as if he needed one. "Now."

"Okay." Anya moved to remove the cuffs and chains and Xander stayed at Spike's once again hard, as if he hadn't just come, cock.

Spike was up and moving before Xander could blink or take another lick. Xander found him self tossed fla his his back on the bed with Anya thrown next to him, a feral Spike grinning down at them. "Lube?"

Xander blinked. "Huh?"

"Nightstand." Anya told him.

Spike spared a moment to kiss her, thrusting his tongue in while fondling her breast. He pulled back with a grin. "You're a good girl, Ayn." He told her, opening the nightstand drawer and fumbling around for the bottle of Astroglide, never taking his eyes from the couple. He flicked it open and coated his fingers liberally. "Anya?"

"Yes, Spike?"

He handed her the bottle, his eyes on Xander's as he grinned. "Be a love and lube my cock."

"Um, yes, okay."

Spike reached out and took hold of Xander's left leg and lifted it.

"Oh, hey, aren't we moving a bit-" Xander began.

Spike slipped a finger into Xander's ass.

"Fast." Xander gasped out. He shifted. Spike moved another finger in, and then another. Spike hit that sweet spot and Anya moved from coating Spike's cock to licking Xander's cock and Xander just hummed.

"Yeah, pet. Suck. That's nice. It is pretty."

Xander nodded. "Yes, it's very, very niii-"

Spike removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock, moving in
slowly, as Anya sucked Xander's cock deeper into her mouth.

"Gargh."

Spike sank in all the way, shuddering. "Gargh? Not gagged and that's the best you can do, pet?"

"Good!" Xander slapped the bed with one hand and took hold of Anya's hair with the other.

"A little better." Spike told him, beginning a faster rhythm.

"M-more!"

Spike and Anya increased their pace. "Oh, yeah, that'll do. Harder. And then faster, luv." Spike matched his thrusts to his words. He reached out to grab hold on Anya's hair, his and Xander's hands entwining, Anya's silky hair between them.

"God, Spike. Anya! I'm gonna come. Real soon. Fuck! Any minute, now." Xander's hands fisted, grabbing sheets and Anya.

Spike pulled on Anya's hair, raising her head to his for a kiss as he fucked Xander. Anya moved, her leg coming over Xander's face and settling herself over his mouth as she kissed Spike and continued to work Xander's cock with her hand, jacking him in time with Spike's kisses, the thrusts of his tongue into her mouth and the thrusts of Spike's cock into Xander's ass.

Anya shuddered first, her body rocking with the pleasure of her orgasm, Xander followed, his cock spewing over her hand and stomach as he moved his face closer to her core, his body clenching down on Spike's cock.

Spike continued to fuck them, thrusting tongue and cock faster and harder, pulling them closer to him, riding them, wanting them, needing them. He pulled his mouth free of Anya's and screamed his pleasure as he came again.

He slumped against Anya.

Anya slumped against Spike.

Xander struggled to move his head free from Anya. "Hey! Bottom boy can't breathe!" He panted.

Anya and Spike chuckled and slid down, effortlessly moving down to each lie along side of Xander, tossing their arms across him and holding him. Anya kissed Xander's cheek while Spike bit the other.

Xander smiled. "You guys?"

"Yeah? What of us?"

"Yes, Xander?"

"The bestest! You guys are the best."

14. And So They Slept. . .

Taps sounded softly and Spike moved closer to the furnace like heat of Xander's body. Xander snuggled closer but didn't wake. Spike reached out to run a hand along Anya's arm. She moved closer but did not wake. Spike snickered. It was morning, wasn't it? He reached out and grabbed Anya's arm, pulling it across Xander's body, he drew her fingers into his mouth, sucking on them. They flexed in his mouth but she didn't wake. He spit them out, disgusted. Spike ran his tongue over Xander's ear, tracing the shape of it before sucking the lobe into his mouth. Nothing. He bit. Xander moaned and moved his head closer to Spike's mouth, but still, he didn't wake. Spike spit Xander's ear lobe out in disgust. He poked at Anya. She shifted. He poked at Xander. He shifted. He poked at them both. They shifted, mumbling, but didn't flicker an eyelash.

Taps sounded again.

"Fire!" Spike shouted, evilly.

Nothing. Although Spike was almost sure Xander mumbled, "put it out" as he moved closer to Spike's body. Spike made a note to purchase the most shrill-sounding, most evilly pitch shifting, smoke-alarm on the market and to test it out as soon as possible. As soon as possible while these two were dead asleep and ignoring him once again. He poked at them once more. They shifted and snuggled into each other, leaving Spike snuggle free.

Spike sat up, glaring at them. "Well hell. Lazy so and so's." They'd had at least two hours of sleep, the both of them.

Taps sounded again and Spike got up, picking up his clothes and pager along the way, padding naked into the Spike room. Too early for a call, so he knew it had to be Patty, just being nosey. He stopped in the bathroom to rinse out his mouth. Hard, red rubber plastic did not carry its palatability over to the next morning.

"You've got Spike."

Patty giggled. "Yes. I've got Spike. But, question is, did someone else have Spike?"

"Wot? You know I'm a slut, Pat. Frightfully indiscriminant with those that get me, I am. It's disgusting, really. I should be ashamed of myself, but sadly, I'm not. Question should be: Who hasn't had Spike?"

"Um? What are you talking about? I mean, how was last night?"

"Fine. Went to a carnival, you know that. Rode rides. Ate spun sugar. Won things with my arm's ability to throw at a distant target. The kids would have loved it. They would have been very impressed with my arm. Your girl most especially."

"Huh. And that's it. That was your night? Your whole night?"

"You sound snappish, luv. Are you snapping at me, miss?"

"No!" Patty snapped. "I'm not. I don't snap! Don't be so sensitive. It's early. You know me and early. What else did you do last night?"

"Went for a walk. Got some ciggs." Spike swiped up the cards and dealt out a hand of solitaire. "Say, Patty. . .seeing as how I do know your anti-morning fetish and have always loved you for it, what's with the early call?"

Patty sighed over the line. "Did anything happen between your walk and my call?"

"Oh. Oooo. Oh, my yes. Grrrr." Spike snickered over the line. "Why do you ask?"

"Did you have sex with Xander and Anya last night?" Patty demanded.

Spike snickered.

"You did! You slut! You beast! You animal!" Patty giggled.
"You're so going to hell you slut-beast, you."

"Yeah, but I already knew that." Spike told her casually, lining up a red queen with a black king. "And luv, I did not initiate sex. Not once. Well, okay. . . those other times, but that was after they tied me to the bed and had their evil way with me." Spike told her. He cleared his throat, aware that he had just sounded like a teenaged girl. Black jack on red queen. "Um. Well. They wanted Spike, Patty. What can I say?"

"Was it mind blowing, sexy, good fun?"

"It was."

"Can I play next time?"

Pause. Red six on black seven. Move king. Flip. Black five on red six.

"I'm kidding, Spike! Ick! Like I'd ever have sex with you!"

"Luv! It wasn't that. I was just thinking that if you wanted to play, perhaps, you know, once she's sixteen, you'd let your daughter play, too."

"Go to hell, Spike. And, for the record, it's eighteen years old."

"Humph. Who'd want to have sex with an eighteen year old and her mother when you can have sex with a sixteen year old and her mother?"

"Ha, fucking, ha. Anyway, you're too white and too skinny for my baby girl. And you're changing the subject. You had sex with Xander and Anya. And I'm just tickled. It's so cute. You guys are so cute. Really. You know I don't go for these wacky threesome things, but you guys? You guys can make it work. Really. Where are they?"

Ace of clubs up. Ace of spades up. Two of clubs up. Black four on red five.

"Where are they?"

"Huh? What? Playing solitaire, luv, wasn't listening to your chatter. What did you say?"

"You're playing solitaire after hot and wild sex with your couple? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Spike coughed, making sure his mouth was over the voice piece. "Well. I did have to answer my page. Who was it paged me?"

"You didn't have to answer the page!"

"True. But they slept through it."

"So?"

"Well, they slept through poking and sucking too. And a shout of fire."

Patty giggled. "Wore 'em out, did you?"

"I did." Spike was sure Patty could see his proud grin over the phone lines.

"Glad to know it's not all talk with you, my boy."

"Humph. Well, they were a bit afraid to try out some of your more adventurous scenarios."

"Well, hell. That only makes 'em sane. Or sorta sane. Or. Um. Well, fuck. We do some sick shit, Spike. Ease 'em into our best stuff, kay?"

"Bollocks. I'm outta moves."

"What? Just what the hell did you do last night?"

"No, no. Solitaire. I'm out of plays."

"Glad to know I can hold your interest, Spike."

"It's habit, Pat. Can't talk on the phone without doing something else. Nothing personal, pet."

Patty snickered. "You should go make them breakfast."

Spike laughed. "Shouldn't they make me breakfast? They came after me, remember, pet. In more ways than the one, too."

"But you don't like breakfast. And you're up."

"Evil logic-woman, be gone! Give to me your blood ripe daughter, instead."

Patty giggled. "You really do one of the best Draculas I've ever heard, Spike. It's great. No wonder the freaks love it so. But really, just go make 'em breakfast and kiss 'em good morning. New lovers love that stuff. Play like nothing really different happened; it'll freak 'em out and it'll be fun for you. And what? We're off today, right?"

"We are. No calls for us. What are you going to do without me, pet?"

"Um, I'm gonna go to work, dude. This is my second job; remember? And I'm gonna leave you as soon as I get my new car down-payment money!"

"Yeah, yeah. You people and your lives outside of phonesex. I pity you."

"Yeah, well, not all of us have sugar-couples to keep us in cards and home while we loll around the phone waiting for callers."

"And I pity you for that, also, you poor dears."

"As you should! Go cook breakfast for your sugar-couple. As I am off to make breakfast for my parasite like, but very cute and entertaining, offspring. Talk to ya later, Spike, you hot-slut-beast, couple-satisfying, sex-god, you!"

"Bout time you got the nick name right, at least."

Spike dealt out another hand of solitaire. "Why should I cook? Don't need to eat do I?" The hand gave out three plays before he resorted to cheating. "Oh, fine." He tossed the cards down. "I'll go cook." He snipped at no one.

Spike was sipping at a warm mixture of blood and coffee, had biscuits in the oven, bacon frying and was whipping eggs when the phone rang.
"Yeah?"

"Spike?"

"Yeah, watcher. What?"

Pause.

"Giles?"

"Oh, yes, well. I wanted to ask you a question."

"And so you called me. Yer getting more clever by the day, aren't
you, luv?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean. . .is Anya about?"

"Sleep. Thought you said you wanted me?"

"Oh, well. Yes, of course, it's just that, on her day off, Anya usually answers. The phone, I mean. Anya usually picks up."

"Yeah. Well, she's still sleeping."

Pause.

"I don't bloody have have them tied up, Giles. I cut all the ropes before I came to the phone."

Pause.

"That was a-"

"Joke! Yes, I'm sure it was, Spike." Sigh. "I just wanted to . . .they aren't tied up are they, Spike?"

"No, Giles. Put yer specs back on, pet. Want me to wake Anya up so's you can ask her to put me on?"

Pause. "Um. No?"

Spike poured his eggs on to the girdle and began to scramble. "Shall I have her call you back so you can speak to me, Ru-perrrt?"

"No. Of course not." Pause. Spike said nothing. "You speak several demon dialects?"

"I do." Whip, whip. Cheese.

"Do, um, do you read many?"

"Cheese." Spike mumbled.

"Beg pardon? What's that you said? You read cheese?"

"Huh? What? No. I mean, cheese for the eggs. Never learned any cheese dialect. But, yeah, I can read some. Those that have a written dialect, that is." Spike scrapped out eggs onto plates and pulled out his biscuits. "Not a lot do, though."

"Know any Pa'tallian?"

"I can understand some of it. Can't read any. They don't have a written dialect that I know of, anyway. They're treasure hunters; never carve or write anything down that can be used by others. Mostly story tellers; pass them down. Didn't want anything to fall into the wrong hands. That it? I've got biscuits to butter, watcher!"

"Oh, so a Pa'tallian map that I'd have. . ."

"Would be a fake."

"Oh, well, that's very disappointing."

"Yeah, if you were looking for their treasure, yes it would be. Sorry. You'll have to catch one, just like a leprechaun."

"Oh. Well, then. Never mind."

Pause.

"I'll have Anya call you."

"No, no, quite unnecessary, that." Pause. "Spike?"

"Wot!?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm cooking, bloody, breakfast for, bloody, Anya and, bloody, Xander and you have me buttering, bloody, cold, buggering, biscuits!"

"Oh, yes, well. Of course."

Pause.

"Yes, Giles?"

"We'll have another dinner party soon, I hope, yes?" Giles was still chuckling when Spike slammed down the phone.

15. The Morning After The Night Before.

Spike took in the sight of Xander and Anya sleeping peacefully in bed all snuggled together. So sweet and peaceful it was. He desperately wanted to disrupt the too perfect picture that he was not part of.

"Pets!" He yelled out clapping his hands. "Breakfast." The pair groaned and moved apart, each reaching out to clutch a pillow instead of each other.

That was a little better but not by much.

Spike grinned and made a running dash towards the bed, leaping. He landed between them with a bounce. Xander mumbled incoherently and Anya was propelled off the bed and to the floor.

Spike looked over the edge of the bed at a dazed, waking Anya. He tilted his head looking down at her. "Pet? You okay, luv?"

"No. I'm on the floor, Spike. Without wanting to be or meaning to. How'd I get on the floor, Spike?" Anya asked, looking a little lost and a lot confused.

"Donno, pet. Bad dream?" He held out his arm and she took his hand, letting him pull her up and back onto the bed.

"Morning, Spike." She mumbled working her way back under the covers. "I don't believe I was dreaming. Good or bad. Did you push me off the bed?" Confusion had left her voice and was replaced with a bit of anger. Not enough to scare Spike but enough to make him wary.

"I did not, pet. I'd never."

"Oh. Okay then. Did Xander?"

"I don't know. He's still sleeping." He looked over his shoulder at Xander. "He might have. I haven't been watching him. No telling what he's been up too." He gave her his best "it must have been the other guy look". "You know how he is."

"Well. He is still asleep, so I'm going to choose to not be angry." She punched a pillow before resting her head on it. "For now."

"That's good, luv. Angry face makes wrinkles I've heard tell. It's time to get up, anyway."

Anya snuggled the covers around her and turned her back to Spike. "No. No it's not. I'm still sleepy and I don't want to get up. I can sleep late. Giles is going to open the store for a half day and I promised to be okay with it. I'm not okay with it, but I'm okay with the sleeping late part of it."

"I've breakfast ready."

"Do you?"

"I do."

"Biscuits?"

"Yes."

Anya groaned from beneath the blanket she'd pulled over her head. "From the fun pop open can?"

"Nope."

"Fine! I seem to be crazily addicted to your biscuits. So, I'll get up. Make Xander get up too."

Spike snatched the blankets away from Xander and yelled, "wake up" into Xander's ear. Xander didn't move.

"He's not waking up, pet. Biscuits getting cold."

"Hit him. It's what I do when the alarm doesn't work."

Spike sighed. "If only I could."

"Oh. Right. Move over." Anya crawled under Spike and slapped Xander upside the head. "Xander?" Nothing. Anya hit him again.

Xander's eyes opened. "No. I'm finished." Xander rolled over to his other side, facing away from her. Anya slapped him again, all cheek. His eyes scrunched closed tight and he rolled back to face her, mumbling another "no".

Anya smiled at Spike. "That's very impressive don't you think? He wakes up and immediately goes back to sleep. I can't do that. Can you?"

"Yes. But he's very clever at it, as you say. Hit him again, luv, harder this time. Breakfast is getting cold." Spike back crawled down the bed.

"Sure." Anya punched Xander full on and hard.

"Hell, pet. Didn't want you to break him, just wake him."

"Mumph?" Xander whimpered, holding his chin.

"Hey! That hurt my hand!"

"Oh." Anya wiggled in her chair. "These are so good, Spike. Why is that? I follow the same directions you do; follow the same steps and yet, they never taste as good. I'm stuck with the pop up can. Good thing I find it amusing if not as tasty."

"Yertooheavyhanded." Xander mumbled.

"What did you try to say, Xander? I didn't understand."

Xander took the ice pack from his face so he could speak. "You're too heavy handed, Ahn. Make's the dough tough." He did his best to speak clearly, hampered by pain and puffy lips.

Anya rolled her eyes. "Like you're Mr. Biscuit Maker." Spike nudged the back of her head with his elbow as he passed. She swallowed and smiled at Xander. "You think that's it?" She took another bite. "Maybe. Spike has said good biscuits take a light touch. How's your face, honey?"

"Dandy. Except for the sore and swollen part from you hitting it." Xander glared at her. "You made me bite my tongue too!" He lisped, showing her his abused tongue.

Spike moved the ice pack back to Xanderchinchin. "Keep that on, you, or we'll be calling you Mr. Leno."

"Oh! That's a Jay Leno reference! He with the large chin and late night talk show." Anya grinned, nodding her head and taking a bite of bacon. She caught sight of Xander's glare and decided to change the subject. "So? Spike? Doing anything today other than molesting the newspaper before I've had a chance to read it?"

Spike rattled the newspaper and then folded it against the 'fold'.

Anya gasped.

"Yep. Origami. With the newspaper. You?"

Anya began to choke and Xander helpfully hit her on the back with his icepack. "You're joking, yes? Because that's just mean, Spike. I have paper if you need paper to fold into silly shapes that don't look a thing like they are named to look like. Or yesterday's newspaper, which I've already read, is still in the recycle bin. I can get it for you if you'd like."

"Back on the chin, Xander." Spike said, ignoring Anya.

"Yes, Spike."

Anya reached out to move the unmolested portion of the daily news her way. "We could all go out."

"Yes, lets. Shall we take a morning jog in the morning sun?" Spike snickered from behind the paper.

"No. I only run when things are chasing me. And you'd burst into flames, Spike."

"Yep, I would."

Xander snickered from behind his ice pack.

"Oh. Being sarcastic. Fine. Well, if you want to exercise we can always use the gym in the basement."

Spike carefully folded the paper into its original folds. He handed it to Anya with all the flair of a waiter at a five star restaurant setting something on fire for his diner's amusement. "For you love." He smiled as she took it. "I don't believe I mentioned any desire to exercise." He paused. "In a gym."

"It'll be good for us."

"I'm wounded." Xander offered, removing his ice pack and quickly replacing it.

"You wont need to use your face, Xander."

"I get enough of a workout at work, thank you very much." He slurred with his puffy lips and bitten tounge.

"And I'm in perfect shape." Spike told her. Anya snorted at him. "As perfect as I'll ever be. Dead, pet. Remember? Read the paper, luv. Bad things have happened to good people, I know how you love that."

Xander snorted from behind his ice pack.

"I do not! Well, maybe I do, but only when it's funny. And then only when no one dies. And, and, well." She glared at them. "There aren't that many good people, anyway, so there. Perhaps that nasty old woman that uses our parking space to go sip coffee all day has died. Giles will never let me have her car towed." Anya quickly went to the obituaries. "Humm. I don't see her picture and I don't see her last name. Maybe tomorrow."

"We can hope, luv."

"We can also refrain from wishing death to those that are gonna die soon anyway. Our elders, people. A little respect?"

Spike and Anya just looked at him.

"What?" Xander snipped from behind his melting icepack.

Anya held up a hand, smiling at Spike and silently offering to field this one. "Your elder, Xander. Not really ours. She's a tiresome, mean little woman that comes in and fondles merchandise without ever buying anything. She knocks things over and doesn't pick them up, let alone pay for what she breaks. She's rude to me before I can be rude to her and then walks away before I can be rude back. She dresses without flair even for one so old. She parks in the stores' space and then goes to the library and the coffee house and stays there all day denying a space to customers that might spend money. She's evil, Xander. Oh, yes, its not the sucking the world into hell kind of evil, but the costing me of money kind of evil. And really, lets be honest about this, now. Is one evil so much worse than the other? Evil is evil, isn't it?"

Spike coughed, offended. He reached out to take the paper back.

Anya snatched it away without even taking her eyes from Xander's.

"You know what I mean." Anya waved Spike's and her years of evil deeds away with a toss of her hand.

Xander turned his still sympathetic to the old woman eyes on Spike.

Spike snorted. "She almost ran me over the other evening as she was cutting some sweet young mother in a minivan chock full of little ones off. I hope she gets some type of infection that rots her from the inside out."

Xander placed his ice pack on the table. "I can not condone this." He muttered. It came out garbled and comic spoken with his still swollen lips.

Anya giggled.

"Really!" Which, of course came out "Wewee", causing much more mirth.
Xander gave them a disgusted look. "You both suck." Which only added to the merriment, of course.

Spike did his best to school his features into the shape of proper regret.

He failed spectacularly and Xander just rolled his eyes at him.

"Aw, pet. Sorry. Yer right. I suck. Let me show you." Spike dropped down and disappeared beneath the table.

Xander's eyes got big.

"Oh!" Anya's eyes widened and she blinked at Xander before she smiled and nodded her head. "And I suck too! I'll go with Spike, because I'm so bad and awful." Anya dropped beneath the table.

"So, I guess that whole morning after the night before conversation I was sorta worried about is a no go, huh? We're just gonna-oh." Xander felt his pajama bottoms being tugged and then torn away, leaving him bare-assed on the chair. Next he felt a cool hand on his cock and a warm one on his balls as whispers and giggles came from beneath the table. "Okay. Yeah. That's a dumb conversation anyway. We don't need that conversation. Oh! Yes. Lets just keep doing what we're doing."

Xander scooted closer to the edge of his chair. "You guys are the best. The very best."

The End