You've Got Spike

by
Michelle

11. We've Got Spike

"You can't play that card there, Xander."

"What? Why can't I? You're cheating again, Ahn. And would you pull your damn robe up, please?"

Anya sat up, yanking up her robe. "You can't play an opposite suit against the dealt hand! How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Xander flicked his hand of cards at her, scattering cards everywhere. "I don’t want to play this game any more, Ahn. It's stupid and you cheat at it. You cheat at all the card games you want to play!"

"And you say that I cheat at every card game you loose"

"I loose because you cheat! I only loose because you cheat! Notice that phenomena? The parallel? You cheat and I loose. You change the rules to make sure I loose!"

"I do not! I don't have to cheat to beat you! And would you tie your robe, please! I don't want to look at your stomach and it's rippling muscles!"

"Fine!" Xander stood and yanked his robe closed, cinching it tight with a breath-stealing yank. "Perhaps my stomach muscles and I will just head to bed. How'd you like that?" He demanded with a whisper, his breathe stolen from his massive robe tie.

Anya shrugged, her robe drooping. She yanked it back up. "Makes no never mind to me; take them to bed. Who cares? I certainly don’t. I don’t need them or you."

They heard a scratching at the door and froze.

They grinned at each other. "Chair is in the room?" Anya asked, moving to the door and locking the lock Spike had just unlocked.

"It is."

Anya relocked another lock. "Okay. 1, 2, 3." She relocked all the locks. Go."

They ran to the Spike room and sat at their pre-planed and pre-posed places, picked up their stacked hands of cards and waited.

Spike stopped in the kitchen and they both shifted uncomfortably sharing an aggrieved look.

Spike came into the room whistling. He stopped dead and coughed. "Sorry. You two wanna use this room?"

Anya laid a card down and looked over her shoulder to smile and laugh flirtatiously. "Why yes. We wanna play cards, Spike. With you." She leaned forward and her robe stayed modestly upright. She glared at her shoulder.

Xander picked up a card, played it and discarded another. "Yeah. Wanna play with us?" He ignored the glare that Anya turned his way, well aware that he'd stolen her line, and leaned back in his chair. He almost tipped over and windmilled his arms to stay upright, jerking forward. Anya snickered at him.

"Oh, yeah sure, rummy is it?" Spike came around and sat in his chair. He swiped up the cards and began to shuffle. "New deal?" He'd all ready pulled the aces out and placed them on the bottom. "My deal."

"Spike!"

"Spike, what happened to you?"

"What?" Spike looked around him, checked his hands and arms. "What?"

"You're bleeding!"

"What? I am? Where?"

"Your eye! Over your eye."

Spike swiped the back of his hand across his forehead. He pulled it back and looked at it. Bloody. "Oh, yeah." He licked the blood from his hand and continued to shuffle. "Yeah. He got in a good one. I'm fine. Just fine . . ." he looked up and surveyed the empty room. "Guys? Ahn? Xan? What? We can't play cards cause I didn't duck a punch? That hardly seems fair."

They both rushed back into the room, Anya with a damp cloth and Xander with the first-aid kit. Spike shrank back against his chair. "Guys? M'okay, really. It's just a nick."

Anya swabbed his cut. He pulled further back. "Bloody hell, Ahn. That hurts! What's it? Petrol? Not an approved germ-killer and by the by, I don’t need a germ killer." He turned his beseeching gaze to Xander. Xander moved Anya's hand and it's evil antiseptic doused cloth back to his cut. "Ow! Stop that!"

Anya looked at Xander. "It needs a butter-fly patch, don’t you think?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah. Maybe two."

"It does not." Spike told them, offended.

Anya reached out and began pushing the open ends of the cut together. "Tape 'em."

Spike knocked her hands away and stood to avoid Xander's hands and their plasters. "What in the bloody hell is wrong with you two? It's a cut. A gash. A boo, bloody, boo. Not a stake near me heart! Not even a splinter. My boo-boos heal just fine on their own, thank you very much. Vampire perk." Spike glared at them. "Are you two stoned? Have you been into my drink? Without asking?"

"Are you hurt anywhere else, Spike? Places we can't see?"

Spike took another step back. "Um. No. I'm peachy. Really. You can call Buffy and ask her."

Anya and Xander both placed their hands on their hips in unison and glared at him. "We only want what's best for you, Spike." Xander told him, his voice the very tone of reason.

"You look hurt and we only want to help!" Anya said, her voice ringing with that special combo of concerned hysteria and miff, reserved for lovers and mothers. Spike liked it when it was directed at Xander; directed at him, however, was something completely different. Something creepy and scary.

Spike took another step back from the pair. "The both of you look all done in. What say you have a lie-down and I'll bring in a nice pot of tea, yeah? With lot's o' lemon and sugar? Yeah, that'd hit the spot, wouldn't. Go on." Spike moved to them and grabbed their arms. He propelled them out the door and pushed them towards their room. "Just rest a bit and I'll be back right quick."

"Well, okay. Are you sure? You're not feeling dizzy?" Anya wrapped her arm around Xander. "Do you think he should be making tea, Xan?"

"Well, no. Maybe I should help him."

"No!" Spike barked. "No. Really. I'll be fine. You two just lie down and rest. I be be back with the tea. You've both gone wonky. Hell, I'll even read you a story. Prove to you that I've all my mental faculties firmly about me." Spike continued to move them towards their room and had them lying in bed and before they could say 'join us', he was out the door and in the kitchen.

Spike picked up the phone and punched in some numbers as he placed a kettle to boil.

"Yes?"

"Giles!" Spike reached for the tea, rejecting the breakfast blend and pulled down the soothing bedtime-mint with its cute bedtime bear.

"Spike? What is it? What's happened?"

"They've gone nuts, Rupert. Nuts."

Sigh. "Who's gone nuts, Spike?"

"You know!"

"What have they done?"

"They are trying to patch me up."

Pause.

"Patch me-"

"Yes, yes. Are you in pieces?"

"No! That's the thing! I'm fine! I came back with a cut over me eye! And that's it. And I swear, Ahn and Xander are about to do open, bloody, heart surgery on me."

"They're just worried about you."

Pause.

"Worried a-"

"I damn well heard you, Rupert!"

"Spike?"

"Yes?"

"I'm hanging up now. Go talk to your." Pause. "Go talk to Xander and Anya. And Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"Never call me again."

"As you say, Rupes, old boy. Call you later." Spike hung up the phone.

No help there; bloody useless Watcher.

Spike prepared a tea tray. Tossed some cookies on a plate and added that. Perhaps it was low blood sugar. That did strange things to humans, he knew. He thought of all the candy they'd had at the carnival and put the cookies back, grabbing a bottle of vodka instead. Maybe sugar was the whole problem. And anyway, the vodka was a good idea. He'd need it if they held him to his word and made him read a bedtime story. He wouldn't put it past them and he'd be able to fill 'em up with enough vodka to have 'em pass out.

He headed back to Xander and Anya's room and, not bothering to knock, just barged in, expecting to find the two in bed where he'd left them.

They weren’t in bed where he'd left them. Bloody hell. He placed the tray on the bedside table and then his hands on his hips. "Where'd you two bugger off to?"

The door slammed shut and he turned to find Xander and Anya glaring at him.

He smiled.

They glared.

"Guys?" Spike cocked his head. He moved along the bed, keeping to its edge. He came to stand in front of it. He tried his smile again, the really good one. And they only glared.

"All right, now. 'Nuff o' this! What is wrong with the two of you?"

"Xander?"

"Yes, Ahn?"

"That stupid wrestling you make us watch?"

"Yeah."

"Close-line."

"Good idea." Xander reached out his hand and locked it with Anya's. The two rushed forward, catching an unprepared Spike across his chest and knocking him to the bed.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you two? And I demand to know, right now!"

Xander and Anya ignored him, reaching for an arm each instead and pulling him up the bed until Spike's head hit the headboard.

"Opps."

"Sorry."

"'So' Kay. Just tell Spike what's yer malfunction and I'll make it all better. Can't be chip problems, or can it? You two get chipped while I was out for smokes? Whatever it is, I'll make it all better. Promise. I'll get the watcher on it. The witches. The slayer. Dawn. She's gotta be useful for something right? Guys?"

They ignored him, looking at each other instead. They smiled and then Xander's face bloomed into full on grin. The evil grin Spike thought so pretty.

"Hey, Ahn?"

"Yes?"

"We've got, Spike."

They turned their grins and gazes to Spike.

"Yes, we do." Anya winked down at him. "What are we gonna do with him?"

12. Maybe The Legs Should Be Left Free

"Oh, wait! I know!" Anya grinned and reached into the bedside table to pull out handcuffs. Two pairs. She locked one circlet around Spike's wrist, securing the other to the brass of the headboard. She tossed the other pair to Xander. "Lock him up, honey."

"Clever girl." And Xander did, easily locking a still stunned Spike's free wrist to the headboard.

They leaned over Spike's body for a high-five, grinning at each other. "Now we just have to make him naked." Anya smiled.

Spike tugged at his bonds and kicked his legs up. "Guys? It's a possession, innit? You're possessed, the both of you." Spike nodded his head. "Fine. That's just fine. I'm just gonna ride it out with you. Have fun with it, I will. You won't be all mad at me afterwards, will you? It's hardly my fault, is it? Should I even mention calling the Watcher?"

Xander and Ayna ignored him.

"We got anymore cuffs? Or chains? Something we can lock his legs down with?" Xander asked. "Rope? I know we have rope."

Ayna looked at Xander, crossing her arms across her chest. "Um, you won't let me chain down your legs, remember? You didn't want me to get the leg irons."

He grinned at her. "I remember I didn't want you to get them. So? Go get them."

Anya blew him a kiss and ran off to the closet.

"Guys?"

Xander looked down at Spike. "You're talking; you don't get to talk, Spike. This plan calls for you to be quiet, okay? Wanna get with the plan?"

Spike smiled. His pretty, non-threatening, smile. "Xan? Tell me the plan?"

Xander smiled and shook his head. "Shaddup, already. You missed your chance to play. Now you just get played."

"Xander. It's me. Spike. I'm all for this. You two want some Spike? Fine. Let's play."

"Too late, Spike. You had your chance, you know. You wanted to go get tea instead."

"What? Back there, in the Spike room? That was a seduction? I didn't know! You can't. . ."

"You're not helping yourself much, Spike." Xander smirked down at him. "Dissour our carefully planed seduction is not the way to go."

"Okay. Here they are." Anya held up chains and cuffs. "And I found this, too." She held up a ball-gag; black leather, with a bright red ball. "But I don't want to use it, really. Spike's mouth is so pretty. It's one of his best features. I'd like to have it free for us." She moved to Xander and kissed his cheek. "For you especially, Xander."

"Now, see here. . ."

Anya twirled the ball-gag, glaring down at Spike. "We can always save the mouth for later." She moved her mouth to Xander's, kissing him deeply.

"Ahn? Why do we have a ball-gag?" Xander asked, after the kiss.

Ayna stepped back with a grin, looking down at the implement in her hand and then back up at Xander. "Impulse buy. It was at the end of the isle while I was shopping at the sex-store one day. I was feeling generous towards you one day. But I then, of course, decided that you don't deserve to have me silent during sex. You might miss something important that I would have to tell you. And I didn't want to silence you during sex, you know, because you make all those cute little squeaks and sounds, and well, you might want me to wear it if I made you wear it. So I hid it in the closet."

Spike shut his mouth with a click, watching them. He smiled and spread his legs. "One thing and then I'll refrain from speaking except for appropriate moans and such. Would you take my boots and jeans off before the ankle cuff?" He wiggled his eyebrows. "Please?"

"Oh. Well. I was gonna leave the boots on. But." Anya dropped the chains and picked up Spike's right foot, beginning to unbuckle and unlace his boot. She pushed his leg down, knee towards his stomach as she continued to unlace the boot. She looked over her shoulder to smile at Xander. "Do we even need the leg cuffs?" She worked Spike's leg, moving it back and forth, tilting it in and out. "Maybe we should leave the legs free. He might need leverage." She pulled off his boot and tossed it over her shoulder.

Xander went to work on the other boot. "Yeah, maybe we should leave the legs free. For leverage." He tossed Spike's boot over his shoulder and to the floor. He glared at Spike. "Long as he doesn't try anything funny with his legs. You gonna try anything funny, Spike?"

Spike smiled and shook his head. He wiggled his toes.

Xander removed the sock and bit Spike's ankle.

"Oh, my. That's so pretty." Anya let Spike's leg drop and moved to the bed to sit next to him. Spike was busy watching Xander chew on his leg and didn't notice Anya reaching into the bedside table once again. The flash of shiny metal caught his eye and he turned to look at Anya holding up a large knife. His eyes got big and he pushed his leg against Xander's teeth.

"Oh. I'm not going to cut you. Just your shirt." She reached for the neck of his t-shirt and sliced it neatly down the middle. "See? That's just good quality k'atara demon craftsmanship. Much better than that cheap knock off Ginsu stuff." She smiled at the knife before replacing it. Spike whimpered. "Oh." She moved the shirt open, rubbing his chest, stopping to pinch a nipple. "Did you want me to cut you, Spike?" Anya grinned. "Maybe later."

Xander dropped Spike's leg and moved to sit on the bed. He began to unsnap Spike's jeans.

Spike moaned as Xander finished unsnapping Spike's jeans.

Anya leaned over Spike's body to kiss Xander once again.

Spike moaned.

Anya pulled back from the kiss to smile. "He's being so good, isn't he, Xander?"

"Yeah. Let's get the jeans off."

The two rose from the bed and moved to the end to pull off Spike's jeans.

They grinned at each other.

"He's being very good." Anya murmured, her gaze on Spike's erection.

She took Xander's hand in hers and moved them to the pretty toy that was Spike's cock. They started at the base and moved up and over, slicking their hands with Spike's pre-cum as he thrust up and against their hands. Anya pulled their hands away, ignoring Spike's moan of protest. She offered her hand to Xander and took Xander's hand and drew it to her mouth, licking the taste of Spike from his palm. Xander did the same, licking her hand clean of Spike. They both moved to sit on the bed, each at Spike's side.

"Kiss him, Xander."

Xander leaned over Spike, his tongue coming out to wet his lips, before pulling back to glare at Anya. "Me? Why me? You kiss him."

"Me? I'm not going to kiss him! You kiss him!"

Spike rattled his cuffs. "You can both kiss my -"

Anya reached down and pulled up the ball-gag, waving in front of Spike, while glaring at Xander.

"-ass!" Spike finished, eyes on the ball-gag.

"Why do you want me to kiss him first? Will it be, 'Oh, Xander did it! He kissed Spike first! He made me do it!'"

Anya reached over to slap Xander upside the head with the ball-gag. Spike grinned. "I sound nothing like that! And why would you even think that? Are you worried that I'll be angry after we ravish Spike? Are you worried I'll bring vengeance down upon you?" Anya moved from the bed to stand and glare, hands on hips. "Are you afraid of me, Xander?" She demanded.

"I'm not, Anya-pet." Spike told her.

Anya waved the ball-gag at him again, watching Xander.

"No. No, I'm not afraid of you, Ahn." Xander began with a soothing tone, his hand moving up and down Spike's chest. "Maybe I'm wondering that if I kiss first maybe you'll wonder if I want Spike more than I want you."

Anya laughed. "What? Why would I think that?" She sat back down next to Spike. "Oh, Xander, honey, I would never believe that."

"Um, hey! Incredibly sexy vampire cuffed to the bed. What's not to believe 'bout that?"

"So it's okay for me to, well, want Spike?"

Spike growled and Anya giggled. "We *do* have him naked and hand-cuffed to our bed, Xander. Now is not the time for questions. I'm all invested in this. I've been planning this moment! You can even ask, Patty! We've discussed and planned."

"Patty! The sneaky bitch! She never said a thing!" Spike snarked.

"Really?"

Anya reached for Xander, pulling his head to hers for a kiss. "Yes. Come on, we have a sexy Spike all tied up and ours. Let's play with him." She kissed him softly. "We'll kiss him together."

They leaned down and placed their lips against Spike's, pressing down and pulling back with a smack. Spike opened his mouth just as they pulled up to smile at each other. He growled.

"See?" Anya asked.

Xander looked down at Spike splayed out between them. He grinned. "All for us?"

"Yep." Anya nodded.

"The two of you can go fuck each other! I'm sick of this playing! I'm not a bloody toy for the two of you! I've feelings you, know-"

Xander and Anya moved down as one and kissed Spike's open mouth; tongues sliding in and around, playing with each other's as well as Spike's. Spike moaned and moved his head up, thrusting up and into the kiss, licking and tasting.

Hands moved to his cock as the kiss continued and he was a happy vampire.

When they moved back to take in air, Spike grinned. "You guys want Spike so bad."

Xander winked at Anya, still squeezing Spike's cock. He eyed the ball-gag."Can we gag him for the first part?"