You've Got Spike

by
Michelle

8. He's Our Hero

"Whoa. Okay. I'm dizzy. Anyone else dizzy?"

"Nope. How about you, Spike?" Anya grabbed one of Xander's arms and placed it around her shoulders. "Are you dizzy? Or do you feel like me?"

Spike moved closer and placed Xander's other arm across his shoulders. "Donno, pet. How d'ya feel?"

"Like going again!"

"Oo, yeah, pet. One more time."

Xander stopped. "No. Nada. Uh-ah. Not gonna happen."

They dropped his arms and he swayed. "No!" Xander wrapped his arms around Spike and Anya's necks, pulling them close. "It's time for Xander to get stuff. That was the deal." He pointed towards the games section. "Looky. Big fuzzy things. For to be won. To be won for me."

"Just one more time?" Anya pleaded.

"Is that the zipper? It's brilliant, Xander! Anya?"

"Oh, yes, Xander." Anya smiled up at Xander, pleading. "A zipper tab shaped cage and you get to spin and go upside down many, many times!"

Xander jerked their necks. "Taz." He pointed again. "Yonder."

"Ow!"

"Careful, pet."

"Ahn?"

"Yes, Xander?"

"Go get me more cotton candy and a soda, please. Spike and I'll be at the booth with the big giant Taz."

"Fine." She ducked under Xander's arm and turned towards the concession stand. "Big baby. Spike? Want something?"

"Yeah, pet. Large blood for me."

"Cherry coke?"

"Don't be disgusting, pet. Get me a Pepsi. If no Pepsi, I want a lemonade." Spike looked at Xander. "Well, pet? Shall we?"

Xander grinned, still feeling woozy. "We shall. I'm guessing with your whole vampire thing you can win lots of stuff."

"Yes. That's what how we vamps made our mark upon the world; winning carnival games."

"See? And I thought it was the blood-sucking and killing stuff."

"Only our sideline, pet."

Spike tossed the soft ball in the air, catching it while looking at Xander. "You know these are all rigged, don't you? The bottles are weighted."

"No, no, my friend! It's a fair game, here! Ya get three balls for a dollar and three chances to win a prize! Knock the bottles down and you win a prize. It's that easy. Knock down three stacks in a row and win a bigger prize! Just throw, knock 'em down and win!" The carni told Spike. "Look, I'm gonna show you something." The carni reached down and pulled up a bottle. He tossed it to Spike. "Feel that? Does that feel weighted to you?"

Spike hefted it. "No. No it doesn't. Xander?"

Xander took the bottle and tossed it in the air. "Feels fine. Not heavy at all."

The carni took the bottle back. "Now, see? I'm not trying to cheat ya, folks. It's all good fun." He took the bottle back. "So, come on and toss 'em."

"You two do realize that the bottle he gave you is not one of the bottles you have to knock down, right?" Anya interrupted them.

"Huh?" Xander jumped. "What? Of course we do! What are we? Stupid?"

"Not stupid in the classical sense. Gullible is the word I would have chosen."

Spike snatched his lemonade and took a sip. "We were just waiting for you, pet."

"Uh huh."

The carni coughed. "Come on, guy. Toss 'em and win yer," He gave Spike, Anya and Xander a look over, spit, took a drink from his Jack Daniels filled can of coke, a hit from his cigarette, exhaled and continued, "Cute couple a prize."

"Well. If it's just that easy." Spike let rip and knocked the bottles down.

The carni spit again and reached for a little fuzzy snake. "Good throw. Here ya go."

"That's very nice, guy, but you keep that. I want to keep going."

"Well, my momma always told me not to tempt fate, but. . .if you must."

"He has two more balls, yes?" Anya asked the man. "And I'm not happy with your little fuzzy worm."

Xander was looking up at the big big prizes hanging from the roof of the shanty. "I think I want that Taz. I'm fond of Taz. I mentioned that, didn't I?"

Spike knocked the rest of the bottles over. And then the next set. Paid three more dollars and knocked three more sets down. The carni pulled down a Taz and handed it over as a small crowd began to gather. "Here. Take it and go, would ya?" He hissed close to Spike's ear.

Spike gave the oversized plush toy to Xander. "Well. I would if I could, but that's just for me lad. What of me girl?" Spike asked, tossing a ball in the air. "She'll feel left out if I don't win something for her." Spike turned to look at Anya. "What prize do you fancy, luv?"

"Well, they have Sylvester the cat. He's very clever. And he makes great use of the heavy cast iron frying pans even though cats wouldn't be able to lift them. I enjoy that. But that giant St. Bernard dog is adorable. Look, he's got a barrel on his collar. Win me that, Spike!"

Spike nodded, as if he understood; he didn’t. "Well, then. I've got to win the dog for my girl, don't I?" Spike grinned at the carni, while tossing and catching the ball one handed.

"Knock 'em down, and then go away? Deal?"

"I get the dog?"

"Yes!" The carni spit for emphasis.

"Okay." Spike threw the ball, knocking the bottles down and punching a hole through the tarp in the back of the tent.

"Hell, would you just look at that? Don't know me own strength sometimes."

The carni gave him the evil eye and snatched down the giant dog, thrusting it into his hands. Spike promptly gave it over to Anya, who clapped around the dog.

"Yay, Spike! He's our hero, yes, Xander?"

Xander looked away from his Taz to wrap an arm around Spike's shoulders and leaned down to place a smacking kiss on Spike's cheek. "Yep. My hero!" He batted his eyelashes before turning to look the carni in the eye. "Now! 'Nuff with the girly-stuff. I gotta win my boy a pretty prize."

The carni snatched down a Sylvester and pushed it into Xander's hands. "Just go away and don't come back!"

Xander smiled, took the prize and led his couple away. He gave the cat to Spike. "Good thing for him. He'd have won all my money. Those bottles weigh a ton and my aim is a bit off lately."

"I'm sure you could have knocked something down, Xander. Or maybe you could have hit the dirty man in the head." Anya rubbed her dog against her cheek. "That would have been funny."

"Not true, pet. You throw fine. You've got good aim. Why, didn't you hit my head from across the kitchen, just the other morning? You remember? When I dumped a platter of delicious blueberry pancakes in your lap? Tossed a handful right at my head, didn't you?"

"That was funny, too."

Xander placed his arms around his 'couple's' shoulders and hugged them. "You guys are so cute. Really. I got the cutest couple ever"

"Are you mocking our love, Xander?" This was hissed at him.

"No, of course not!"

Taps began to play. Tinny, but Taps all the same.

Xander looked over his shoulder, Anya looked all around for the funeral procession and Spike reached for his pager.

He grinned at the other two, holding out his pager. "It's me. Innit cute? Taps." He read his message. "Well, my pets, looks like Spike is needed." He glanced up to smile at them. "Patty is letting me know we'll have a money maker in an hour." He pocketed his pager and grabbed the rest of Xander's cotton candy, taking a bite. "Shall we go? Someone wants Spike."

9. We Got Us a Spike To Get

"This was not the way tonight was supposed to end, Xander." Anya snipped, brushing her hair in front of the vanity mirror.

"What? We had a good time; Spike's making money. You like for Spike to make money, don’t you?" Xander lifted up the sheet and began to climb into bed.

"Yes, of course, you know I do. But this was our night. Our date."

"Well, sure, um, wait." Xander paused, knee on the bed. "Our date? Our date?"

"Don't give me that, Xander. You know. Our date. And our date is ending with Spike talking dirty to a stranger!" She tossed the hairbrush down and turned to glare at Xander. "That's our dirty talk, Xander!"

Xander opened his mouth and said nothing. Opened and closed it several more times.

Anya rolled her eyes. "Seduction of Spike. You weren’t with me on that?"

"Of course I wasn't! I'm with you! I love only you! I want only you!" Xander flopped down on the bed. "That is so our dirty talk he's selling!"

Anya rushed to the bed, tackling Xander. She came up straddling him, grinning. "What should we do? Knock him over the head and drag him to our bed?"

"I love the gentle subtlety that your plan so very much lacks, but no." Xander raised his head and kissed her. "What say we do the other thing? We seduce him?"


Anya smiled. "Are you sure? Hitting over the head and dragging does work, you know. And we have clubs."

"We do? Of course we do." Xander waved his hand in the air. "We don't need no stinkin' clubs, you and I! We're cute."

Anya moved down to kiss him with a smile, rubbing her nose against his. "You are, you know. You're very cuXandXander."

"Okay, no lovey-dovey while we plan our seduction of the vampire-phone-whore. I'll feel cheap."

Anya laughed. "What should we do?"

"Well. Doesn't he like us to play cards with him while he takes calls?"

Anya nodded. "He does. He even gets mad at us when we don't. Say's we let him slave away without a thought."

"And someone just got pretty new fuzzy knickers."

"Oh! I did! I should put them on, yes?"

"Yes."

Anya got up and ran to her new knickers. "What about you? You don’t have anything new and pretty."

"I need new and pretty to be attractive?" Xander whimpered, playfully.

"Oh, hush." She tossed her pajama top at him. "Hey! Wait! I need something new and pretty?"

"I was kidding. It was a joke!"

"You're not as funny as I am, Xander."

Xander chuckled. "Put on yer fuzzy knickers. We got us a Spike to get."

Anya stepped into her fuzzy panties. "That was an excellent Spike, Xander."

"Really? What say you and I go find out how good the real thing is?"

10. And How Sexy Are We?

Anya pulled on a short, silky, red robe and tied it loosely. "Xander! How's this? Can I do this move?" She sat down, ran a hand through her hair and the silk slid down, exposing her shoulder and the top of one fuzzy-cupped breast. She grinned at him and pulled the robe back up. "What do you think? I've always liked that move. Good?"

"Excellent." He nodded his head, hand cupping his chin. "Maybe cross your legs, too, though." He waggled his fingers at her. "Try it with the legs. Let me see."

Anya grinned and clapped her hands. "Yes, of course." She stood to try out the new move. She sat on the bed, crossed her legs so that the robe parted to her fuzzy-trimmed panties, ran a hand through her hair, letting the top fall to her elbow, and tilted her head. She leaned forward a bit while smiling seductively. She licked her lips. "Wanna play cards with us?" She looked up from beneath half closed eyes.

Xander pointed at her. "And we have a winner!"

Anya grinned and opened her eyes all the way. "It was good, yes?"

"Very. But what about me? I want a sexy opening, too."

"Mine's good enough for both of us."

"No." Xander crossed his arms across his naked chest. "I want my own move."

"Fine." Anya stood and began to pace. She held up her hand. "I've got it. Get the matching robe."

"I'm not doing the slutty-robe-off-the-shoulder thing, Ahn. That's a girl thing."

"Just get the robe."

Xander did.

"Put it on."

Xander did.


Anya pulled out her vanity chair and pointed to it. "Okay. Now you just sit down. Just on the edge and sorta lean back and cross your legs."

"Cross my legs, Ahn? No way. Too girly."

"Not in the girl way, Xander, in the manly, ankle on the knee way, and lean back and let your stomach muscles ripple."

"Oh, okay. That could be good."

"Do it!"

Xander did.

"Oh, yes, that's wonderful."

"Really?" Xander grinned. "I'm all sexy?"

"Very sexy. Let's go."

"Oh, shit. Wait!"

"What?"

"There's only one extra chair in the Spike room! I moved the other one out the night you two had your dinner party that you never told me about."

"Let the past go, Xander, this is about seducing Spike." She waved her hand in the air. "But, good save." She began to pace again, biting her thumbnail. "We could, of course, just bring a chair with us, seeing as how we are going into play cards as far as Spike is concerned."

"But it'll be so much less sexy that way!"

"True." Anya kept pacing. "I've got it!" She jumped on Xander's lap. "I can sit on the corner of the desk and do my sexy move!"

"Oh, yeah. That'll be extra sexy! And then I can pull you into my lap."

"Yes! That's sexy, too, isn't it?"

"Yep, it is. Man. Spike hasn't a chance against us. He is so ours."

"Not a chance and ours for the having." Anya agreed.

The two kissed and a knock came upon the door; the two pulled apart and looked at each other and then at the door.

"Yes?" Both called out.

"It's just me. Call's done. Nice one. Long. I'm gonna head out and pick up a pack of smokes, maybe see if the Slayer is out on patrol. Be back."

Xanders and Anya's mouths dropped open and closed again twice before they got their hearty "No's" out.

But Spike was already out the door.

Xander stood, dumping Anya to the floor. He reached down and hauled her up. "Okay, fine. This is how he wants to play it? No big deal. Plan B."

Anya yanked up her sexily drooping robe and pushed her hair back with the back of her hand. She brushed off her ass with both hands. "What's plan B, Xander?"

"Ambush."