You've Got Spike

by
Michelle

5. Good Cock

“That was fun. Didn’t you think that was fun, Xander?” Anya asked, nestling her head on Xander’s shoulder, as they relaxed on the sofa.

Xander ran his tongue along the head of his cock, licking. He nodded his head, cock still in his mouth. He bit the head off and chewed thoughtfully. “Yep." He waved his bitten cock-sucker in the air. "Spike beaten meat, cooked to perfection I’m told, all my friends, and not only finding the clitoris, but labeling it as well, all during after dinner coffee, no less. Yep. Just good clean fun.” He kissed the top of Anya's head and finished eating the rest of his cock. "This is outstanding cock, Ahn."

Anya nodded her head. "Yes. It's English. They make good cock."

"Huh?"

"Good chocolate, I meant."

"Of course that's what you meant."

“Yes. Too bad Spike had a call. I feel we should all be here on the couch. You know, after a well-done dinner party. He should be here, don’t you think?” Anya tilted her head up to look at him. “Don’t you?”

Xander sighed. “Yeah. As weird as it is, I do.”

“What’s it been?”

“Only thirty minutes.”

“He’ll be at least thirty minutes longer.”

“Yeah, at least. That crazy partyline.”

Anya rolled over and onto him, her thighs coming to rest along side his. She nestled down onto his crotch. “I think,” She kissed him softly on the lips and Xander’s eyes closed. ”Spike needs a break. We should take him out. All this fake sex on the phone can't be healthy."

Xander didn’t open his eyes, but placed his hands on her hips, holding her still. He let his head rest against the back of the couch and breathed out slowly. “How much wine did I drink, Ahn?”

Anya kissed his neck. “Not much. A glass or two. But I did say that we need to take Spike out. Make him take a night off and just have some non phone sex related fun with us." She spoke the words against his neck, letting her lips move over his skin. Her tongue came out to lick and then she suckled, leaving a faint mark. “We can go to the movies and there's one of those parking lot carnivals at the Wal-Mart. You know how much Spike loves those."

Xander snorted.

"Okay, you know how much I love those. But Spike loves stealing from Wal-Mart. He'll have a fun!" She moved her mouth down and bit his collarbone. “Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

“Ahn. . .Yeah, fun.” Xander groaned. “Wait? What? What'd I just agree to?”

Anya pulled back to glare at him. “You need to stop saying that to me, Xander. I'll get a complex.”

“Stop sucking on me while asking me to do things, and I will."

"Oh. Well. I have no plans to stop doing that. You're at your best and most agreeable when I'm sucking on some part of you, so it would just be silly of me to stop doing it. But you've agreed to take Spike and me out Saturday night."

Xander nodded his head. "Yeah. It's all coming back to me. Carni-folk and shoplifting. That's my future, yes?"

Anya smiled. "Yes." She placed her head against his shoulder again.

"Ahn?"

"Yes, Xander?"

"Didn't you say it would be a good idea to have all shoplifters do hard-time? I think chain gangs were mentioned. And working in sweatshops."

"Yes, well. That's when they shoplift from the Magic Box. We prosecute to the fullest extent of the law." She pulled back to smile at him. A really big smile. "And then some."

Xander tensed. "And then some? What does that mean?"

Anya kissed his temple. "Don't think about it, Xander. It will only upset you."

"Anya, you can't-"

"Oh, hush. I'm kidding again." She rested her head back on his chest. "Anyway, I don’t feel at all sorry for Wal-Mart. The big having stores all over the nation greedy so and sos. Spike can steal from them all he wants. They have store security. If store security can’t catch him, well, its rather funny, don't you think?"

"Naw. I don't think much anymore, Ayn."

"That's good." She kissed his befuddled brow and reached beneath a cushion to pull out a prize. "Here. Have another cock. You look all done in, Xander."

Xander took the phallic chocolate treat with a grin. "You're the bestest, Ahn."

Anya rested against him, nodding her head against his chest. "Yes. Eat up. I'm going to make you carry me into the bedroom and ravish me, soon. The sugar rush should work to my advantage."

Xander sucked on his cock. "The very bestest!"

6. Evil Genius? or Petty Thief?

"Why a Tonka-truck, Spike? Not that it's not great and all. But why?"

Spike drew on his cigarette, his eyes scanning for Anya as he exhaled. Ayna didn’t like him smoking and he'd cut way back, and he didn't like it. He was more testy while sneaking a smoke than being without one. He sucked down as much toxin filled tobacco goodness as he could, whenever he could now days. "Cause I could. Did you want something else?" Spike glared at him, and Xander new the glare meant, "thank me or else." Just like when Spike made blueberry pancakes instead of banana. Just smile and say thank you or get a lap full of fruit filled pancakes.

"Um, no. This is great." And Xander tried. Really hard. But he couldn't help it. "They didn't have any StarTrek big toys you could steal, to show off?"

"Yeah, had lots." Smoke in and smoke out. Smoke in and smoke out. And then he reached behind his back, beneath his coat, manhandled out a HUGE box and a grin. A box that contained the Enterprise, which he dropped unceremoniously at Xander's feet before he snatched the dump truck from him. "Like I'd give you a Tonka, ya big baby."

"Oh, my god. This is so cool. I didn't even know they made these. Look! It's got moving parts! And crew members!" Xander looked at Spike with sparkling eyes. "Wal-Mart really is the land of happy, isn't it?"

"Huh?" Spike was busy ripping open the Tonka. "Oh, yeah. Got's geek toys. It's no Macy's but much easier to steal from."

Spike began chewing at people-proof-keep-it-in-the-box-forever-bindings. "Bloody hell! Why is this necessary? It's not like you can just take it outta the box and waltz out of the store with it for fuck's sake!"

Xander snorted at that, doing his best to pull out his mini Captain Kirk.

"Well, if you're not me, you can't! Or some of those kids I watched." Spike winked at him. "Made their own little CD casing remover key, they did. Clever design. I just break 'em open and pocket the CD's. Their way you get the case too! Don't have to bother stealing all those packs of empty jewel cases. I'll have to look into that."

"Spike?" Xander was still too enthralled with his Enterprise to worry about CD theft.

"What?"

"How did you steal this stuff? I can't believe that no one noticed the Enterprise under your coat."

"That was just for you, Xan. For a laugh. Don't you go and try nicking StarTrek toys under your coat. Ayna will beat us both after you get caught. All it takes is magic tape."

Xander's eyes got big. "Magic tape? What does it do? Make stuff invisible?"

Spike flicked away his cigarette and lit another. "Um, no. But if you ever run across some o' that, let me know, will ya?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a roll of bright blue tape with Wal-Mart written across it. "This is the magic tape." He twirled the roll on his index finger before replacing it in his pocket. "All you need is it, and a bunch of slutty looking teen girls."

"Uh, An And the slutty teens are for?"

"Distraction." Spike grinned. "If the items are too big to bag, they tape em ant 't 'em in your cart. Now, the little security guard is 'spose to check your taped items against your receipt, but, lets say, he's just a young bloke, makin' minimum wage, and not really carin' all that much what you have in your cart, and there's a group of scantily clad girls, who've loaded up their pockets with makeup and trinkets and decide to flirt their way out. . . well…ya just wait for 'em to catch his eye…casually show your big taped items and your receipt. . .and walk right out…happy as a lark."

"You're an evil genius, Spike."

"Yes."

"And where do you get the magic tape?"

Spike shook his box violently. "Oh, well. You bring an item without a tag on it to the cashier, flirt with her while she's busy, and steal it when she's looking 'round for the floor manager."

"Yes. An evil genius."

Xander caught sight of a uniformed security guard. "Um, Spike? Maybe we should put away our stolen goods and go find Ahn?" He pulled out his keys and opened the trunk, placing his Enterprise inside with a fond smile. Yeah, it was stolen. And stealing was bad. But Spike had stolen it for him, and Xander just couldn't fight the grin or the happy feeling it gave him. It was just so sweet. "Load up your truck, shoplifter-boy. We got us an Ayna to find."

"Gimmie a sec." Spike lowered his head, vamped out, and sliced though the cables with his fangs, freeing his toy. He let the box fall to the ground with a fang-filled grin. "Okay." He placed it in the trunk and let Xander slam the lid down. "She'll be at a concession stand waiting for us with cotton-candy. Bet?"

Xander dropped his arm across Spike's shoulders and headed towards the mini-carnival. "No bet, my vampire-buddy; 'Cause that's just where we'll find her. She thinks she can control us through sugar."

7. But He Started It

"You've always disappointed your father and your mother wishes you were a girl!"

"Sweetums!" Spike exclaimed upon hearing Anya's hissed words to her small captive.

"Anya." Xander intoned disapprovingly at the sight of Anya holding cotton candy in one hand and a small boy by his arm, as he struggled to get away, with the other.

Anya started, looking at Xander guiltily while releasing the child's arm. She winked at Spike. "Well, he ran right into me, Xander, and didn't stop to apologize! Only to tell me to get out of the way! The way was mine, seeing as how he was moving and I wasn't." She explained her dialogue to the six year old that had just run away, crying. She held out pink confections for them both. "Never mind the little juvenile delinquent, I got you cotton candy."

Xander took his, doing his best to look stern while licking spun sugar.

Anya thrust Spike's cotton candy at him, moved between the two and linked her arms into theirs. She began walking them forward. "I want to go on the Ferris wheel, okay?"

"Wanna spy that young one you let go and spit in his hair?" Spike asked.

Anya looked at Spike. "Yes." She turned to smile at Xander. "No, of course not." She turned back to Spike. "What did you get me?"

"Fuzzy knickers."

Xander leaned his head back to look at Spike. "What?"

"Fuzzy knickers. You know. The bra and panties with the fuzzy outline? The fake fur?"

"Aw, yes. The ever popular fuzzy, um, knickers; I have no idea what you're talking about, Spike."

Spike stopped their walk and reached into his duster to pull out a hanger with purple bra and panties attached. Each trimmed in a fuzzy wealth of purple fluff.

"Oh, how cute!"

"Oh, those."

"Is this her, son?"

The trio looked over, and then up at a huge leather clad, heavily tattooed man with a shaved head, black goatee and a really pissed off look on his face. Spike quickly hid his fuzzy knickers.

"Yes? Can we help you?" Anya. Always the sport Xander mussed, mentally feeling the ouches already. This was a really, really large man.

Spike dropped down in front of the boy, quickly vamped out and back, popped back up, smiling at his father. He looked back at the wide-eyed boy. "Something we can help you with, kid?" Spike asked the now terrified boy.

"no. no. Nope. Sorry. Wrong mean lady." He tugged on his dad's leather vest. "It's not her, daddy. Let's just go, okay?"

"You sure, son?" Big Daddy glared at the innocent looking threesome. Spike looked up and began to whistle. Xander shoved an elbow in his ribs.

"He said it was some other mean lady! What? Are you de-Ow! Xander! Did you just pinch me?"

"We're gonna just head on over to the Ferris wheel now. You folks have a nice evening." Xander rushed them forward. Anya turned back and mouthed "I'm gonna get you" to the little boy looking back at them. He promptly burst into tears. Spike vamped out and back again while the little boy was still looking. The boy screamed and grabbed his father's leg. Xander turned back and watched the crying boy get picked up and begin to sob into his father's neck. "I just wanna go home daddy! There's monster's here!"

"Spike?"

"What?" Pure innocence.

"Anya?"

"Yes, Xander?" Xander hadn't thought it possible, but Anya sounded even more innocent than Spike just had.

"No Ferris Wheel for the two of you!"

"Ah. Too bad, we're bad, eh, Ahn? Look! The lobster!"

"Oh! That goes high and spins very fast, yes?"

"I do believe it does."

"Come on, Xander!" Anya and Spike in stereo and Xander is grabbed and pulled to the lobster line.

Oh, joy.

"Okay, okay, fine! The lobster it is. We can ride the lobster-"

"We're on the lobster, pet, too late-"

"But," Xander continued, ignoring Spike, "you two are gonna have to win me stuff, or I'm gonna find that biker-dude and tell him you put the whammy on his kid." Xander snipped as the not-safe-seeming-at-all-bar was slammed down across their thighs by the scary looking carni.

"Don't be silly, Xander." Anya told him as they moved high in the air and twirled, thanks to calculated movements on Spike's and her part, as the carni herded on to other passengers. "We didn't put a whammy on him. I only threatened him in jest. And Spike made his scary-bumpy face."

"I want something big." Xander mumbled. "Manly fuzzy things. Maybe a giant Tasmanian Devil."

"Do you think if I try to spit on people the spit will fly back in my face?" Anya asked as the ride began.

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